/Disclaimer: only posting this now cos i was too embarrassed to open blogger in the library and also there was no internet anyway cos i can't figure out how to work wirelesssg for the life of me/

This is crazy. I’m sitting here in the library trying to cram three subjects into my head and it suddenly just hit me that I’m in university. Surrounded by other hardworking Singaporeans it made me very conscious of who’s studying what, how old everyone is, and all of a sudden I’m just incredibly aware that I’m currently at the highest level of education in Singapore. Oh my god? How the hell did time fly by so fast, what the frark happened to my youth? I know I’m still young but… dude my real youth is gone. 20 NEXT YEAR. This is all happening so fast omg I don’t want to have to settle down in the next 10 years where is my life going!?

It’s really just crazy when you sit down to properly think about it. I’m about to be done with my first semester as a university freshman – 6 months that I first embarked on with apprehension have come and gone, I’ve made new friends (some I feel I can even really trust now), everyone else has made new friends, in different countries and continents; we’re all officially taking these gigantic baby steps to carving out our desired career for our futures. All of a sudden it’s just too much to take in, and I’m overwhelmed. And at the crux of it all, I guess what I’m trying to say is… I’m scared. I wish Life would just take a giant chillpill and let me enjoy my share of it.

Sigh, it’s as that goof farmer on youtube said, Reality hits you hard bro.

[Edit: here's the video i really do love schmoyoho]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCSBoOcGFFE  

First ever uni paper down and I'm so immensely glad it's over..!

I'm not at all sorry to see my first module go, though I have to admit it's all happening a little too fast. From four years specialising in a subject to two and now we're down to 5 months?! Eugh. I quite miss the feeling of being attached to a subject (... like Lit ! Always loved lit and i still miss it sorely). Also it sucks having to more or less "take A's once every 5 months", as Ailynn so concisely put it. Bloody Singaporean education.... I don't even feel like I'm learning much these days cos everything's whisked away so fast.

(Although on that note, GOODBYE FOREVER EXPERIMENTAL FILM *tribal dance of joy*)

(Okay la, actually I did start to appreciate it towards the end of the mod, but DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN??! We're barely given any time to truly grow fond of any subject, much less learn from it)


I suppose if anyone is interested my birthday week went pretty splendidly~~ I was feeling really pitiful and self-destructive around midweek, partly cos all my besties are in the UK/US, as I have complained time and again, but the lovely people who are still here soon saw to that ! Best Roomie Ever Manda surprised me in hall with a bunch of the Draco people whom I'm touched to say have now become somewhat like my hall family :') Well it's nice to always have people around to eat meals together with and just chill in general. (But they study far too much la omg live it a little people).

BUT WE ARE DIGRESSING yes in addition to that endearing surprise she roped Chanty and Shu in too!!!! Was so crazily touched when they jumped out of our closets I just started tearing ahahaha emotions. I think travelling all the way down to godforsaken boon lay deserves some Amanda Chai tearduct action. Big hugs and kisses to you three girls :>

And Ruth Cody Adelene surprised me in wkw the next morning after Jimmy with cake too!!! Their surprise was a huge fail but it made me love them all the more. Blessed to have (new) friends who do care :')


I'm sorry I have no photos to post..... In all honesty I'm still not feeling the lurve for ntu and transferring in my sophomore year is still a very big possibility at this point. Or maybe I'm just too lazy to transfer my iphone photos into the comp

iphones are evil guys, they make you stop using proper cameras and shit

Why do I have 39 hits today when I can't even bring myself to update this space anymore.

Started properly studying again for the first time in MONTHS cos finals are oh, next week. I must be incredibly out of touch because I am now suffering from severe nausea and The Headache From Hell. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!! Jesus. And this erratic weather isn't helping either ohgod please don't let me fall sick.

Although if i can drop some of these daily-supper-pounds in the process i don't mind getting a little sick i guess.

GOOD START TO LE BIRTHDAY WEEK ^^

Ponned 201 lecture today to film a tiny scene for CS2005 in the weird forresty No-Trespassers-Allowed place outside wkw HAHAHAHA. Really glad I got grouped with such a fun-loving bunch of people heehee Fertility Fighters ftw :>

Super tired (from a really short day at school, I know) but bounded to Bugis to meet Jing for a Thai dinner!!!! To satisfy our craving h o o R A H. So lovely catching up with her and it's so sweet that she met up with me in lieu of my birthday~~~

Sorry I'm in happy birthday mood at the moment so my posts will probably be pretty unbearable to read HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i have the urge to remind everyone that my birthday is coming omg aa max hahahahhahaha bye


#usstomorrow!

Hate to be all whiny (actually no la, it's my forte) but..... who's gonna remember my birthday now that all my besties are gone? ): Feel so awful having taken lynette for granted all those years she planned birthday surprises for me.. I am an undeserving cow sigh.

ALSO I MISS LAST YEAR'S BIRTHDAY WHEN THE CLASS SURPRISED ME WITH A TIRAMISU AFTER LIT LECTURE AND SANG HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR ME THREE TIMES AND THIS IS A REALLY HUGE DEAL CONSIDERING THEY ARE, WELL, 11A10

Guys come back to me please ):::::::

Floating on cloud 9 errbady~~~

Last night in a mad rush to get ready for the fancy shmancy hotel dinner I got a text from the D&D comm inviting me to be Events Head on the main comm!! SO HONOURED and also very reminiscent of spearheading FO2 last year sigh I hope this means things will start looking up. I need a bit of rush in my life to get over everyone's wonderful photos of uk that are positively flooding my facebook feed.  

Hosted Hall 14's MAF last thursday. Ohmygawd HOW I HAVE MISSED EMCEEING. (Also, performed. AND HOW I HAVE MISSED PERFORMING TOO) Seriously, I have ares fc to thank for bringing me so much joy in jc and giving me so much experience cos I don't think I could have mustered the courage to do all this kind of shit right now otherwise. 

A bit awkward emceeing in front of people I barely know, admittedly - and it made me really miss emceeing during Tea, Tiffin & Poetry and FO1 - but great to get that rush back :') It really irks me though that people here think I have an accent/am not local and at times seem to not understand what I'm saying..... omg come on gaiz born-and-bred ahlian here thankz.

In other news I got bangzzz again ^^

As much as my female friends are being incredibly supportive and adorable, I have come to ascertain that bangs are a certified Man Repellant. I guess... nobody really wants to hook up with a 5-year old aye. Looks like I'm staying single till they grow out again.

Yep, very single indeed.


Also this is very bizarre because I got 57 hits on my blog yesterday like whut.

Is there such a thing as being friendsick? Just sent Grass off today and it suddenly hit home that all of my close friends have officially left. I can't just pick up the phone and call/text nette jing grass en-ting yux anymore, not without having to overcome a heart-wrenching timezone wait. I know I have these stupid hole-in-heart moments a lot but this one really takes the cake. Felt like crying the entire train ride back to sad little woodlands cos I feel like I don't have anyone anymore. And I know this is just gonna get worse in two years ish when luky/joel/lei leave too. It's not just the envy that they're moving on to something bigger and better, it's the realization that I'm the only one left back here missing their guts over enjoying what's supposed to be "the best experience of my life" (read: college). Everyone says it's hard for the person going overseas, for her to come back a changed person to everyone who's still expecting the old her, but I think people don't realize it's equally hard (harder, even) for those back home just constantly awaiting their return. 

I miss each and every one of you and even though I am so incredibly happy for you I wish you were all back here beside me.