Is there such a thing as being friendsick? Just sent Grass off today and it suddenly hit home that all of my close friends have officially left. I can't just pick up the phone and call/text nette jing grass en-ting yux anymore, not without having to overcome a heart-wrenching timezone wait. I know I have these stupid hole-in-heart moments a lot but this one really takes the cake. Felt like crying the entire train ride back to sad little woodlands cos I feel like I don't have anyone anymore. And I know this is just gonna get worse in two years ish when luky/joel/lei leave too. It's not just the envy that they're moving on to something bigger and better, it's the realization that I'm the only one left back here missing their guts over enjoying what's supposed to be "the best experience of my life" (read: college). Everyone says it's hard for the person going overseas, for her to come back a changed person to everyone who's still expecting the old her, but I think people don't realize it's equally hard (harder, even) for those back home just constantly awaiting their return. 

I miss each and every one of you and even though I am so incredibly happy for you I wish you were all back here beside me.