I have so much on my mind lately it's driving me crazy. Especially because most of it is about uni apps and all that jazz. Whoever's reading this is probably sick to death of my constant posts/tweets about my whole uni situation and I think the whole friggin world knows I want to go to US. But everything's just such a big jumble in my head and I've been researching like crazy on the different unis, state safety levels, social life, essays, fees, EVERY BLEEDING DAMN THING I am just... inarticulate now. I don't know if I'm prioritising wrongly at the moment, esp with my math & econs grades being so amazingly shitty and prelims lurking around the corner but it seems like there's so little time left for applications too. I'm just so scared that at the end of the day I won't get into the uni of my choice(s), or I won't be able to finance my way through (esp if I don't get a scholarship), or even worse my grades don't get me anywhere and I'll end up being another pseudo-stopthepretence bemoaning my sad life story on a public platform. (No offence intended whatsoever; I actually pity her cos I don't think she intended for her thoughts to just become so viral)

And it's stupid that I'm whining so much now when the simplest thing to do is just sit down, screw my head back on and hit the damn books. But then again, I've always been a disgusting worrier so I'd probably just go mad from the combined mugging + worrying about uni apps + not doing anything to relieve said worries. Oh god I'm a mess.

Inserting a random photo from the lit trip last year so this place won't be so wordy.

Gosh it seems like ages ago that I was whining (again) on this blog about the chances of not being selected to go on the lit trip and my fierce need to go to UK. I miss uk like mad; surprisingly it ranks higher than the choir trip to Ireland. That said though, I'd never study in uk, I just don't think I'm suited for that kind of learning environment. Hence, america.

IT IS 12:31 I HAVE BEEN WEARING MY CONTACTS FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG AHHHHHH