So totally obsessed with Beauty And The Geek at the mo (Aussie version, season 3!!!!!) I've already dug out and stalked the private facebook profiles of my favourite couples~~

SO EXCITING imagine if i bump into any of them in Sydney! which is just 2 weeks away!! So excited that july is finally here- the thought of that travelling and shopping is driving me insane.

wkw camp to start in 2 DAYS gracious. I'm clearly not one for camps or getting active.... just an update for myself to look back on in the future - i nearly died during white-water rafting in Bali a few days back.... Fell into the current and got swept away hahaha........ I might do a proper picture update seeing as how i painstakingly took photos and edited them on my spanking new iphone (VSCOCAM HOLLAAA) but we'll see. I'm getting giggly tingles just thinking of all the free time i'm not gonna have this month w o o h o o

^^

Can I just say

I absolutely DETEST boys who are kiamsiap



D E T E ST 

Tantalizing pictures from last week's chaichowdown foodtrail with Shan for your viewing pleasure, and yes I know there are more photos of us than of the food, but I did say viewing pleasure after all (hurhur).

I dont know. Ever since I left Mediacorp I've been packed with meeting friends and eating and blowing what little cash I have away... and though of course I enjoy it, and I love seeing people, is it worrying that my life still feels incredibly empty after all of it?

Maybe it's still the uni thing bugging me. Okay who am I kidding it is the uni thing. Now that both the Singapore and UCAS deadlines have rolled around, people have pretty much confirmed where they're gonna be spending the next 4 years of their life and it really sucks knowing that I'll be spending (wasting????) mine in Singapore. I feel horrid cos I can't hide my moody sulking - I mean hello this is the biggest disappointment in my life as of yet so please empathise and don't call me a whiny bitch - and I think it's really hurting my parents. At the moment they're offering to pay for an education in USC if I transfer after my 2nd year at ntu. (Ya see how I can't even be bothered to capitalise ntu hahahaha whatever sue me) It's really a very possible option for me right now, I cannot even begin to explain how much my heart desires USC - THIS IS THE BIGGEST DAMN THING I HAVE EVER WANTED IN MY WHOLE LIFE. But then again there are all these "what if"s and the very scary possibility that I might end up loving ntu too much at the end of 2 years to want to leave. Sometimes I wish uni would just start already so I could have a clearer idea of what to do with the rest of my education.

That said, I think the root of my discontent lies in wanting to travel SO BADLY right now (which I guess could be traced back to the even deeper root of wanting to get out of stifling little Singapore). I think I'm being too narrow-minded but as of now I really just want to spend my life travelling around the world for work etc.

----Sidetrack: check out anouskaproettabrandon.com for the most amazing and gorgeous fashion blogger (she's Irish omg!!!!!) I've ever discovered. In all honesty she beats Rumi Neely hands down.----

With ref to the above, it's people like Anouska who really inspire me to want more with my life - travelling and taking beautiful photos for one (or the main) thing. July needs to hurry on and get its ass over (read: BKK and Sydney!) - I need to get out of this city pronto ):

Time to stop doing stupid things like just shopping and using the comp... I really wanna get back to playing the piano, making videos, writing to scrape together a portfolio... enriching myself la haha.

I've realised my brain is constantly a mishmash of erratic thoughts so I'm probably just gonna make this a regular edit whenever I need to ~clear a little space in the corners of my mind~

MANDA'S MASH

1) Musicals and broadway songs have the ability to evoke so much awe and emotion in me! Such a sap omg

2) I think one reason why girls like having gay friends so much is cos they feel they can get close to them without having to worry about the guy falling for them

3) SINGAPOREAN GUYS ARE SO NEEDY AND INTENSE O M G

4) I spent a night deliberating whether I should get the JC Raids (white) at USD48 HOLY COW and they disappeared off the site next morning and so now I feel like kicking myself and sinking into a Pit of Despair

5) Mika/Ariana Grande's Popular Song

6) MIKA MIKA MIKA SO ATTRACTIVE WHY IS HE GAY WHY D'''''8

7) Trying to heal the gaping shoe-induced-hole in my heart by trawling sites (read: Asos/NastyGal/PLNDR/Office) but there is nothing or shipping is too expensive why is everyone hatin' on Singapore

8) Humid weather is humid

9) Just caught my dad standing at the door silently ohdearlord I hope he didn't realise I'm blogging cos I told my parents I deleted my blog cos they kept snooping and my relatives kept snooping and well yeah go away folks

10) POPULARRRR, I KNOW ABOUT POPUUU^UUULARRR

11) Really, really attracted to brunette caucasians with curly tousled hair. MIKA!!!!! HARRY!!!!!!

I hope I have entertained you for the night I'm going to turn on the aircon now.

(Hi Mandy!!! :3)

I have this really bad habit of holding onto the past.

I scramble to relive memories because I just want to remember how awesome everything felt, albeit it being 3 years ago.

Russia is gorgeous! We actually didn't see much cos we were too busy preparing for the competition etc. but still, it should definitely make everyone's bucket list.

I'm sick and blogging in bed, le sigh.. In other news, my time at MediaCorp ended yesterday on a really bittersweet note, as all farewells do.

Oh god I apologise to myself for this really erratically-assembled post.... But while we're at it I might as well throw in there that the 4 years I spent in St Nicks were some of the best damn years of my life.

Yay!

I wonder. I went into 11A10 feeling disgust, trepidation, and the overwhelming need to transfer to ANY CLASS, so long as I got away from the class that I thought would never come close to fulfilling my jc fantasy. Yet it turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life, and though I wouldn't say that we are necessarily the closest class ever, A10 is outrageously near and dear to my heart ^^

SO. I wonder. I wonder if going into NTU thinking I'll have the most miserable time of my life, not make any friends, be stuck with yet another cheena-type school (read: St Nicks > Hwach > NTU) and long for another school that was almost mine (read: USC /weeps) - I wonder if at the end of the day all that will work out for me just like how Hwachong and A10 worked out.

To be honest I've never gotten what I wanted - failed dsa to nanyang brought me to SN, failed cca application to eldds sent me straight to choir, NJ IP failed, walked into the wrong class (A16) on the first day of (HAHAHAHA) and realised I was actually in A10.... basically you get the gist, I have failed a lot in my life HAHA. But in a sick way I'm really thankful I did ! Otherwise who knows what kind of person I would be today. Someone once told me you're currently shaped by the people you've met in the last 10 years, and I couldn't have been more grateful. St Nicks alone, for sure, brought me together with so many amazing people that I'm glad to still have with me at this point of my life; Hwach was the best mistake that ever happened to me - my eyes have been so opened by the people I met in my class/artstream, fc and rioHC helped me grow so much I really appreciate the change they've brought about in me.

I guess I just really hope now that this new failure/rejection/disappointment dealt by His hand will turn out to be yet another blessing in disguise. I need to stop being so moody and pessimistic all the time gah, makes me feel like such an ungrateful bitch ;_;

Sigh, sorry for being so pensive these days.

Got this off a dear friend's blog; it's beautiful, so is she; it makes me wistful yet again for something I can never do.


'We're scared of falling in love with the moment, because we know it is fleeting. We don't want to watch it go by, and then long for it to return. Nobody wants to be almost happy.'