Some of the beautiful youtube music I mentioned in the previous post for everyone's listening pleasure:

Love these cover bands (Us and Walk Off The Earth) particularly so because you can tell they're really loving the music they're making - everything's incredibly heartfelt so it stirs something in you too. Maybe I'll have the guts and passion to do that one day, but for now living through theirs will suffice.

I'm sitting here at the miniscule temp staff cubicle that I don't even have the luxury to call my own
listening to underappreciated cover bands on youtube;
coral nails typing away at mundane menial admin work.

It might just be this particular dreary combination, at 2:36pm on a Thursday afternoon (which in my opinion is the most random out-of-nowhere day in the week, next to Tuesdays), but sitting here makes me all the more certain that I want something more with my life. In all my essays I've talked about being drawn to glitz and glamour, and right now I'm not afraid to admit that I think that's really where I want to go. Maybe not right smack in the middle - I'd be more than content with writing in the shadows as long as I'm given the privilege to retain my own voice, write for topics I'm interested in, you know. If anything I could always wear a full-on glitter bodysuit just to get in the mood.

I can't write prettily. Sometimes I wish I could, because I know strong grammar and camaraderie with the built-in thesaurus isn't special enough to get you places. I envy those gifted enough to effortlessly translate their thoughts into beauty - nothing pretentious like what you'd get in Hwa Chong or even (God forbid) here. If I could write prettily I would just document random bits of fluff in a little notebook everyday, just because I can. (I might then proceed to gush over how doubly pretty my writing was - fyi I have impeccable handwriting that has made it to the likes of Ms Heng's OHP. Also earned me a few stickers.)

I don't know. What a wonderful world we live in, with so much incredible beauty in prose and music it makes your head spin. I think, all I really want is to one day be a part of it, fully immersed such that the very pores of my skin leak sheer art. It probably would reduce me to a poor in-debt sop, but dare I venture that I would be greatly enlightened..? And well I'm sure it'd do wonders for my complexion.

Big plans big dreams no money

YEAHHHHHHHHHH HAPPY AS A HIPPO RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DAD JUST ANNOUNCED THAT WE FINALLY GOT ENTERTAINMENT CHANNELS ON CABLE IE. FOX/STARWORLD/MTV ETC !!!!!!!

This is colossal news nobody can even begin to fathom my immense ecstatic joy right now hohoahaoha.

Giddy with happiness right now~~~ Also, my dad just upgraded me to an iphone cos my shitty (free) android was driving me nuts. But of course, that does not measure or even come close to the fact that we now have entertainment cable. Like, my fingers are legit shaking as I'm typing now, just thinking about all those lovely weeks (years? decades? centuries?????) to come watching antm and the like.

This kind of makes up for not going overseas, I guess. EVER SO MARGINALLY.
I think once this burbling joy wears off then I'll go back to being mopey about US hahaha okay whatever hooray

Actually I think all this guilt-gifting from the 'rents works for me too

So many things bogging down my mind recently I can barely find the time to even key in blogger.com into my search bar.

It's becoming quite ridiculous actually, how I'm starting to see blogging as an obligation these days when I'd always intended it as more of a respite.

Whatever, in other news, I'm busy as frark with my internship now - squeezing daily dinners in with multiple groups of friends is making me poor and exhausted. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly thankful to have this internship and it's (almost) exactly what I imagined and wanted it to be. It's just that it's becoming slightly mundane and I do miss the freedom and fun of Jan '13. Sighpiez. Just gonna stick it out for a while more then I'll focus on my playing, hehe. That said though, I think I'm gonna be really sad to leave when I do. I've come to feel quite at home with the Marketing bunch (yes o m f g MARKETING) and apart from becoming homiez with my fellow interns Jenny/Carine/Jasmine, I've really grown very fond of Cheryl ! Ha she's like my 2nd mum. Oh parting is such sweet sorrow.

And my schools, sigh. Blessed to have gotten into everything I wanted, but now being faced with the fact that my US dreams may never come true cos of $$$$$ is too heartbreaking to bear )': At a complete loss now - I feel so stuck and May 1st is looming disgustingly near.

SOMETIMES I JUST WISH LIFE WERE SIMPLE AND FUN AND DECISIONS WERE EASY AND I COULD BE EASILY CONTENTED AND HAPPY 4EVA

It is no secret that I stalk pretty girls more than the average jane should.

Sometimes I read their blogs and thank the Lord that life is fair and God is good because at the very least He very kindly blessed me with a decent command of grammar.

Most of the time I just ogle at their pretty photos and feel jealous.

It's funny how things change

I'm glad I woke up and finally realised how important Family is, and how much my own mean to me.
I don't want to be a burden to them anymore.
And even if that means giving up my US dream, sigh, I'll get over it eventually.


A strange eclectic selection of photos from CNY '13:

Every whisper, every sigh, eats away at this heart of mine;